When you have a minute to think really hard...

Someday we'll know how all this stuff works at some metaphysical level.

I'm watching Dakota, actually listening now, while I type this in a separate window.

A while ago, as a younger man with a more agile brain, I became convinced that life is a tapestry of sorts, and that each of us is a thread through time, and that part of 'heaven' will be stepping back far enough to see how our thread was woven into the tapestry. I figure that friends and relatives and coworkers will be threads we were woven with to form some pitcure that would mean something to the higher power. Whether woven by the higher power or what, who knows. Different topic, different day.

Today I'm sitting here and my brain just broke through another wall. Over the last month I've added the new Linkin Park song, the new Public Enemy song, and especially the new Sixx A.M. song to the high frequency rotation in my mind. I realized the other day that the Sixx A.M. song Life is Beautiful was playing continuously in my head.

So the breakthrough moment is this: When I watch Dakota's video / listen to her song, she bridged a gap between "external thought being made internal" and "reality." In other words - LP, PE, and Sixx A.M. don't exist to me except as I allow them to exist in my mind. (No offense, guys.) I create a space for them in my mind. As such, the thread of me in the tapestry doesn't necessarily change or interact with anything else by virtue of my experience of those songs. My thread might change colors as I change from a LP to PE mood, but that's abouot it.

Here's the mind-expansion moment: What if that's not true? What if, like I feel closer to Dakota by virtue of watching her video (and thus presume her thread and my thread are somehow interacting in this tapestry), what if I actually am interacting with the others when I experience them? Does their thread actually move to interact with me by virtue of my thoughts? Or am I creating threads that are somehow part me, part LP?

Perhaps that's the value of the time after death wherein we see the tapestry, seeing the threads attributed to you that you never even knew were there. I anticipated seeing pictures I was part of that I didn't know, whether the damage done by choices made, such as on the freeway when I blow by someone and he fumes at me and spills his coffee and misses the interview and loses his house and so on, or friends who remembered me long after we stopped talking, or whatever.

The next logical step is, what if the thread of me changes in additional dimensions? The tapestry may become three dimensional, instead of just a flat, perhaps really wide and long, tapestry, what if there are layers to it? The upper layers are our spirit / soul, the lower layers are dreams, the middle layers are where the meat I lived in actually was...? Imagine seeing yourself as a want that your parents had before you were born, or seeing your influence on the world after you passed on. And, obviously, the interaction of my thread with Dakota's thread and LP's thread may be at different levels than just the "real world" or meatspace thread.

What I need to know is: Do people know what it happening to their thread in real time? Are there levels of transcendancy that allow you to see the tapestry before you die?

I don't know much. What I know is confusing. What I believe is dynamic. Don't try to run your life or save your soul with my musings.

Here's three things I absolutely know:
1. The Sun will set on you. (Linkin Park)
2. It's Harder than you think. (Public Enemy)
3. Life is beautiful. (Sixx A.M.)
And one I think is true and await the proof:
4. I'm stuck on you. (Dakota)